Living With Intention

Watch Your Mouth...er...Your Words

Want to experience an immediate boost in your outlook and a sure-fire strategy for minimizing negativity in your life?  Just watch your mouth.  Well, actually, watch your words.  A study conducted by MIT researchers found that it takes sixteen (yes, that's 16) positive comments to neutralize the impact of one negative comment, whether you're making it to yourself or someone else.  Holy mongrel!  Who knew that one negative comment had that much power?  And just imagine the impact that the litany of negative words you hear every day can have on your perspective and prospects for success!

Think about the implications of this statistic on your own self esteem (for every time you say to yourself "I look fat in these jeans" or "I messed up again"), as well as on your relationships with your kids, partners, co-workers, and others.  For a simple, fool-proof way to improve your outlook and enhance your relationships, choose your words carefully and encourage others to do the same.  It's a small investment that yields huge returns, not only for your own well-being, but for everyone around you.

Integrity

I've been contemplating the topic of integrity lately, specifically trying to be a bit better at doing what I say I'm going to do when I say I'm going to do it.  Not necessarily a New Year's Resolution, but rather an ongoing attempt to feel a sense of peace between my intentions and actions.  And, as is the case with many things that are front and center in your awareness, I keep stumbling across little reminders about the breadth of integrity.  I really liked a recent blog post by Kristie Tamsevicious, founder of the Web Momz Website on the topic.  Take a look at it here if you're interested in another spin on the topic.   

A Gratitude Experiment

As many of my clients and readers know, I’m a big fan of the life-enhancing benefits of gratitude. Research shows that by regularly focusing on gratitude, you can decrease depression and anxiety, enhance happiness, and improve life satisfaction. It even has positive impacts on health, success, and (go figure) relationships. And now, there’s an effort to spread the power of gratitude throughout the world.

I was intrigued when several readers, friends, and clients turned me onto a website called "Go Gratitude," which is an effort to bring 1 million people together in gratitude. In addition to a brief, eye-catching audio-visual presentation on the symbol of gratitude (about one minute), website visitors have an opportunity to receive a free 42-day e-series on the concept of gratitude. It’s a great daily reminder to focus on the healing—and helping—power of gratitude. Feel free to take a look at The Gratitude Experiment Website and see what ideas it sparks for you to experience more joy, appreciation, and connection in your life.

Biblio-Geek to the Rescue

Thankfully, my husband was conspicuously absent from two bookstores this past week when I proved without a doubt that I am a complete and unabashed book nerd (aka, biblio-geek). He would have shaken his head in sheer embarrassment and then hid in some dark corner if the store if he’d been there.

I was perusing the aisles looking for some resources for a very cool new Women’s venture I am launching in January (more on that in future posts), when I heard two young ladies chatting as they sifted through the stacks, having trouble finding what they were looking for. I immediately knew exactly what it was, exactly where they could find it, and which bestseller lists it had hit recently and for how long. So, quite uninvited, I offered the full name of the book they were looking for (Rachael Ray’s 365: No Repeats Cookbook) and a variety of purchase options they would have if they wanted to get it. They offered me a rather shocked, blank stare, followed by a quick stammer of "thanks," and headed on their way.

Feeling like I'd done my good deed for the day, I then sauntered up to the customer service desk to ask for the location of one of my resources, when I heard the clerk telling a client "I’ve tried every possibility I can find. You said it was EFT? I just don’t see anything here."  Well, I tried to resist it but just couldn’t.

"Sorry for intruding," I said, "but I couldn’t help but overhearing. Are you looking for books on ‘Emotional Freedom Technique?’" The surprised man turned to me and said, "yes…I just heard about how helpful it is in reducing stress and improving health and work performance and wanted to learn more but can’t seem to find anything." I offered him and the clerk a variety of search possibilities to find what he was looking for and proceeded to offer him the free e-book on the topic (which I had given out as a bonus for my Living With Intention book campaign).  Then I provided him with contact information for various certified practitioners in our area. He graciously thanked me for the resources and went happily on his way, while I walked to the next aisle pondering what a total geek I am to have butted in on not one, but TWO, other book shopping excursions unannounced. I resolved that maybe I was going a bit overboard on the helpfulness front and should scale back a bit.

And that stopped me in my tracks.  For about 12 hours.  Literally, the next morning in an entirely different bookstore (yes, it's an addiction), I was again meandering down the aisles when I found a woman pondering over a variety of marriage and relationship books, one of which was "Marriage for Dummies." Now, I had just attended a huge Psychotherapy Conference with one of the most prominent marriage researchers of all time (John Gottman) and found his work to be exceptionally insightful, so, try as I might, I could not refrain from saying "I see you’re looking at marriage books…I just hear John Gottman speak at a conference and think you might find his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work an interesting read." She shared how overwhelmed she had been trying to find the right book and how thankful she was for the recommendation.

Even after hearing her gratitude, I still walked away thinking "Deanna, you’ve GOT to get this under control. You can’t just butt in on people’s book buying pilgrimages. You aren’t the book recommendation superhero…you’re just a bibliogeek. Get over it."

And then, it dawned on me. Maybe that’s my next professional goal…superhero status. I can envision a fashionable brick-red suit (notably NOT spandex...perhaps cashmere or angora?) with a huge "B-G" appliqué on the front, accented with exquisite, hand-made, contemporary accessories. I imagined newspaper headlines shouting, "Biblio-Geek Streamlines Local Woman’s Search For Natural Health Remedies," or "Professional Sumo Wrestler Credits Biblio-Geek With Huge Career Success." Hmmmmm….I could be on to something, here.

So, if you ever need a book recommendation, just ask. Well, actually, you don’t really need to ask. Because I’ll probably swoop in, unannounced and uninvited, and provide one anyway. Perhaps one day in my cool new superhero suit. But in the meantime, if you want a few on your own, see the book recommendation panel for a few good ones!

We Have a Bestseller!

Yes, it’s true. Living With Intention spent several blissful days on the Amazon Health, Mind & Body bestseller list beginning on 11/29/2005, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Unless, of course, when it hit "the big time" I had been sitting on a beach somewhere eating chocolate and receiving massages. But, hey, it’s not a bad outcome even without any of those additional sensory pleasures.  I was elated!

Hitting any bestseller list is no small feat, and it only happens when a huge array of people come together to help spread the word, support the cause, and (yes, of course) buy the book. Thanks to all of you who took the time to support me during the campaign and in my ongoing efforts to share this resource with as many people as possible.

And, if you don’t have a copy yet, there’s still time to visit The Living With Intention Website to order your copy of Living With Intention and enjoy the fabulous assortment of bonus gifts included with it. Happy reading and, again, many thanks for your interest and support!

Today's The Day! My Book Hits The Shelves

The day has arrived!  I'm excited to announce that my book has hit the shelves and we're actively working to take it to "online bestseller" status today.  Visit www.deannadavis.net for all the details.

We've pulled together an amazing array of bonus gifts for anyone who orders Living With Intention today...resources from renowned experts and bestselling authors like Jack Canfield, Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott, Jon Gordon, Marcia Wieder, Hale Dwoskin, and Dr. Jane Nelsen (and a host of others!). 

I'd love your help spreading the word about the campaign.  In two steps and two minutes, you can reserve your copy of Living With Intention and have immediate access to an entire library of free resources for helping you live with intention at every age, stage, and in every area of your life.

Thanks for your support and for helping spread the word about this opportunity.  And here's to celebrating a new bestseller at the end of the day!  See you at www.deannadavis.net!

Coffee and Calculated Risks

So, this morning, I woke up early to mark a few wayward to-do’s off my list before my inbox filled in a post-holiday frenzy. In a bleary-eyed, semi-comatose state (a morning person I am not), I stumbled downstairs to enjoy the first few sips of my morning coffee. Whenever I wake earlier than my 3 year-old (a rare event), I take significant pains to keep the house dark, quiet, and alertness-free because, while we were blessed with a champion sleeper in length, she’s also a light sleeper in depth. Quite the combo.

I knew I only had a few minutes to spare because my neighbor tends to start his rather loud, seemingly un-muffled car for a lengthy warm up session right outside her window at precisely 6:45 every morning, offering full assurance that she’ll wake with vigor and greet the day with abandon.

So, I tiptoed down to say hello to the coffeemaker and bathe in its lovely, rich fumes. After my requisite three sips, I journeyed through the pitch black house, back upstairs to get ready to go. I was doing my best to balance my mug-of-joy as I felt my way along the wall to find the bedroom door handle, when I misgauged and gently bonked into the door with my cup. I felt its contents slosh about for a minute and waited for the telltale sound of deep-black coffee hitting my shell-pink bedroom carpet. But that sound never echoed through the quiet house.

I shook my head and started to think to myself "Whew, that was lucky. What the heck were you thinking traipsing about a light-challenged house with a scalding cup of coffee? Do you really need that much additional excitement in your life?" It’s true, it could have been disastrous.

But then I got to thinking, "No, it was a calculated risk. I know the landscape pretty well. I really wanted that cup of coffee. And I definitely needed to let my daughter sleep for as long as possible so I could capitalize on some much-needed focus time. Sure, it could have ended differently (with a steam cleaner in hand or a new rug on order), but it didn’t."

Then it hit me. That’s what life is all about. Calculated risks. You do your best to assess the situation—what you are most wanting and needing at any given time—and then sometimes you simply need to step out into the dark hallway and hope for the best. At times, the results are exactly as you had hoped (as they were for me today), and sometimes, things don’t have the storybook ending. But in either case, if you’ve made your decision, done your best, and taken an appropriate, calculated risk…you can be rewarded a lot more often than you think. In fact, I was doubly-rewarded this morning because by some unaccounted for act of grace, my daughter didn’t wake up to the un-muffled car for the first time in months, giving me a precious few additional minutes to focus my day and be better prepared to focus entirely on her when she awoke.

So many calculated risks can pay off. Bigger, more important ones than whether your coffee will stay put in your mug long enough for you to enjoy it. Risks like asking for a raise, entertaining the thought of moving, making a new friend, going back to school, standing up for something you believe is right, or releasing your first work of art for the world to experience.

Sure, it can be scary. At times it can be messy. And, it certainly isn’t always easy. But life, even more than a great cup of coffee in the morning, is best savored and appreciated in every way possible. My newest calculated risk—a bid for the bestseller list—hits the universal airwaves tomorrow. I’m edging my way down that dark hallway and hoping for a good outcome this time. Who knows what that journey will bring, but I want it, I’ve prepared for it, and I’m willing to take the risk. What risk can you take today that might make a difference in your life? Why not step out there and see how a brief jaunt down a dark hallway might pay off for you?

Chocolate and Gratitude--What a Combo

Well, the book launch event was unforgettable and amazing and exquisite and a bunch of other words that I could easily go on and on with, but I won’t because it’s late and because I think you get the picture.  I’ve never felt quite so much like I was having an out of body experience than last Saturday night, when friends, family, and colleagues gathered to help me celebrate the culmination of a long-held dream—the release of my book. 

I thought for a while that the out of body sensation was due to the fact that I was hypnotized all night long by the gentle cascading of a decadent chocolate fountain in the corner.  I’m a bit chagrined to admit that I actually thought to myself that night, “if my destiny is such that I will one day drown, please let fortune smile upon me enough to drown peacefully and blissfully in a fountain of chocolate.”  Not really the stuff of literary greatness, is it?  I’m finding that my chocolate addiction might be a bit disturbing to some.  But it’s mine, in all its glory and bitter(sweet) truth, so we’d best get back to the matter at hand. 

I finally figured out that the out of body experience was a fixation less on chocolate and more on a profound and utter sense gratitude for the breadth and depth of supportive people in my life.  I was awestruck and moved beyond words to look out at a sea of smiling faces whose only purpose that night was to share in my joy.  Well, truth be told, they were also there to share in the chocolate, but that actually makes it all the more endearing and meaningful.  We share a tasteful common bond. 

As I spent the next 24 hours reflecting on the event and basking in the afterglow of good wine, good cheer, and good company, I realized the power gratitude has to not only elevate your own experience, but also to connect you even more wholly to the people and experiences that have shaped your life.  To all the people who shared my joy on Saturday night…thank you from the bottom of my heart, not only for who you are, but for the spirit of humanity that you shared with me and with everyone there that evening.  What a blessing.

And to the person who may have wound up with several pounds of leftover truffles that I can’t seem to lay my hands on (rest assured, I have made a valiant effort)…enjoy them!  May those fabulous little delicacies ignite the same level of gratitude in your soul that I experienced in mine on Saturday night.  Cheers!

The Book is Here!

Yep, it’s almost that time!  My new book (aptly titled Living With Intention—go figure) hits the shelves soon.  What a rush!  I’m running around doing some last minute touches to make sure that everything is in place for the big launch party this weekend and the even bigger online bestseller campaign on November 29th. 

I’m feeling overwhelmingly blessed that a few minor things I overlooked actually worked out in my favor by some major miracle.  Little things like forgetting to order a batch of my own books so that I can have them available at my signing tomorrow.  Indeed, dear readers, I almost had a signing with no books.  Nightmares this week consisted of me signing post-it-notes, random grocery receipts, and crumpled IOUs rather than the actual book itself.  I mean, what if you held a signing and there was nothing to sign?  Exactly my point.

It was a nail-biter.  I actually interrupted a client appointment today to run out and greet the UPS delivery man with far too much enthusiasm for his taste.  He seemed a bit taken aback.  I think he was afraid I would kiss him.  And, truth be told, I almost did, so I guess his fears were sadly justified.  But I ended up stopping just short and simply patted him excessively on the right forearm, emphatically thanking him for saving the day.  Not that he knew what he had saved the day from (perhaps media headlines shouting “Newbie Author Signs Cocktail Napkins In Lieu of Books”), but nonetheless I wanted him to know that he had saved it.

He left shaking his head, wondering, I’m sure, whether his salary compensates him enough for such unanticipated displays of emotion bordering on nervous breakdown.  I guess that’s his issue to deal with because I’m just sitting here completely beside myself with unfettered joy looking at six glorious boxes of books.  My books.  They’re here—maybe just barely in time—but they’re here!  And, thanks to divine intervention and a timely UPS dude, at this time tomorrow I will be delightedly signing my first books for a blissfully supportive group of family, friends, colleagues, and media representatives.  Since they’re blissfully supportive, I’m sure they would have gingerly accepted signed cocktail napkins or post-it-notes, but it feels good to hand them the real thing.  How cool is that?

I’m looking forward to sharing the rest of the journey with you.  A journey filled with adventure into the unknown, a huge dose of good humor, and a few (I can only hope) of these last minute acts of grace when I most need them. 

More later…